HAPPY CHRISTMAS ALL

This guy sings this beautiful...this is my favorite Christmas song...



And remember who's birthday it is today...if only people would practice what he grew up to become our world wouldn't be in the state it is in.

Here's a little something to keep you warm...

Download:

FLVMP43GP

HOMELESS FOR THE HOLIDAYS

I have a little Christmas Eve story to tell you...it's not a fable but something that I observed and happened yesterday while my partner and I were out in Hillcrest.

All over the place there were homeless people...most were young people- late teens to early 20's at best.

We did our usual thing and went to our favorite coffee spot and I watched as a man- perhaps around my age, in tattered clothes with a dirty old blanket wrapped around his shoulders asked person after person for money for food.

We sat there and watched for at lesst a good half hour. People either ignored him, looked away or worse turned up their noses and made snarky and downright cruel comments about the man as they passed us by (we were sitting outside).

When we left we passed him and we stopped. The look of desperation and real hunger in this man's eyes were heartbreaking. He asked if I could spare a "5-spot"..that would be a 5 dollar bill so he could eat something. Even though, as many of you know we are having our own tough Christmas I pulled out a $5 bill from my pocket and handed it to him.

You have never seen a more grateful person in your life and he went off to eat something.

There was another I saw, he could not have been more than 19 or 20, sitting on the curb with pants that had a huge rip in it. Sadly we were on the other side of the street and by the time we came out he was gone. I wanted to take him to one of the local thrift stores and buy him some pants.

What makes me sad and infuriated is the way people these days just don't care- yes many are struggling as well...we certainly are until next month...but would a dollar or five really make that much difference to one of the people that passed the man by?

While I wish I had millions to help these people I don't but what I do have is a home to live in when it is cold and a refrigerator to put the food I buy in. Many of the people that passed the man by will be attending churches celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ who would have never turned a blind eye to this hungry man. I hope when they sit there in the pews that their angels remind them of the soul they passed by.

Trouble is people, especially many with a lot of money, get real sanctimonious. They spew out nonsense not knowing the WHOLE STORY. Or they make assumptions that because of drugs, booze or insanity the homeless person somehow, through laziness or character defects created the mess they are in themselves.

I received emails from one prick like that- Borderboys long time readers will remember I publicly slapped his righteous ass down.

No matter how one becomes homeless the fact of the matter is that they are.

Just in the past few weeks the US Congress has passed bills to spend billions more in Iraq and Afghanistan and yet funding for homeless shelters and other social services in this country isminimal at best. Billons of tax payer dollars to keep trying to sort out some other country's mess while people are starving, freezing and some dying on the streets of almost every city and town in America.

We should be ashamed.

The people who I see constantly dressed well, passing by and snubbing the homeless don't give a fuck for one reason. They have never been there. But if you are someone like me, who when I was young, arrived in a new city with a promise of one thing and was told you have to get your ass fucked or get out and then subsequently wind up homeless and on the street then you have empathy and compassion- again all the qualities the grown Christ who people pretend to give a damn about will sing to in churches tonight and tomorrow.

If the people that passed that man by new what it feels like not to eat for days and yet see people eating at restaurants they would have given the man a dime.

If the people that passed that man by new what it feels like to belong nowhere- to be basically a non-person while cars, people and the whole world seems to pass you by un-noticed they would have given the man a dime.

If the people that passed that man by new what it feels like to watch someone lie- say they don't have money but then re-emerge from a store with bags of merchandise they would have given the man a dime.


The point is that because they haven't been there most people don't care. But trhe thing is they can be- especially the way things are going in this country.

I hope for their sake, if it evcer happens to them, that they are served up as much cruelty and indifference as the man I helped experienced yesterday.

Christmas is really about the birth of Christ, but more especially the act iof giving. Not goingt to Macy's and spending a fortune on crap that will probably get returned or re-gifted but giving the little things like love, compassion, understanding or just a smile to someone who needs it.

We all can afford those things- they cost nothing and you just might get something back in the long run if you try that today.

It is not Christmas without Chjarlie Brown and here is the video I was looking for the other day...



I am going out to make sure that guy with the torn up pants, if I see him, has decent clothes for Christmas...take care and give some love today to those that need it most.

HAPPY YULE-TIDE SOLSTICE

It is officially winter and it feels like it here today...ok so it is not as bad as some parts of the country but for those of us that are spoiled by a constant warm climate it feels chilly today.

That is the Green Man in that picture and he symbolizes the green vegetation that survive the winter, according to my partner.

In most forms of Wicca, this holiday is celebrated at the winter solstice as the rebirth of the Great horned hunter God,who is viewed as the newborn solstice sun. The method of gathering for this sabbat varies by practitioner. Some have private ceremonies at home, while others do so with their covens.

Yule festivities for modern Wiccans and neopagans involve the burning of the Yule log on an open fire to honour the lord cernunnas or the horned god; the log is decorated with holly and other symbolic paraphernalia.

Also during the many Wiccan Yule rituals, the Oak King defeats the Holly King. This signifies the changes in the season.

So to all my Wiccan friends and others happy Yule-tide and winter solstice!

This is my favorite Solstice song by the group Jethro Tull:

I NEED SNOW CHARLIE BROWN

I have lived in Southern California for a while now and it still is so hard to get into the holiday spirit.

I grew up in New York State so we almost always had freezing cold Decembers and most years we had a good amount of snow on the ground.

I guess people that never lived in the north don't notice the difference but for me I was psychologically more able to get jolly and full of Christmas cheer when I would be all bundled up and shaking snow off my boots!

Plus in the dead of real winter cuddling was especially welcome when I had a boyfriend or just a friend with benefits hanging out with me.

One thing that does help remind me that it is the holiday season is Charlie Brown. That sounds strange I know but it brings back lots of memories and in the still warm during the day climate San Diego it is as close to snow as I can get!

I love this bit of dialogue:

Charlie Brown: [Charlie Brown and Linus stop at a wall on their trip to the pond for ice skating] I think there must be something wrong with me, Linus. Christmas is coming, but I'm not happy. I don't feel the way I'm supposed to feel.

[begins to walk with Linus again]

Charlie Brown: I just don't understand Christmas, I guess. I like getting presents and sending Christmas cards and decorating trees and all that, but I'm still not happy. I always end up feeling depressed.

Linus Van Pelt: Charlie Brown, you're the only person I know who can take a wonderful season like Christmas and turn it into a problem. Maybe Lucy's right. Of all the Charlie Browns in the world, you're the Charlie Browniest.

So without further delay here is CHARLIE BROWN!

ANDREW GRANDE- QUESTIONS AND A TRIBUTE

I am sure many of you have seen the Florida news report of the arrest and subsequent death of Andrew Grande- otherwise known in adult videos as Dustin Michaels.

I had considered posting the video report on the Borderboys blog but thought twice about it after seeing the whole video on the MOC blog.

Some criticized MOC and even Dewayne In San Diego for initially posting the video report...A position I could understand since his death affected friends and associates deeply.

But in a way I am glad I got to see the report because now I am seeing some of the worst in people.

Whether or not people like the fact that he was a pot smoker and a gay adult porn performer he still was a human being and someones friend, brother despite the public persona he portrayed.

In fact, his father is quite distressed as seen in this excerpt of a story from the NewsHerald:

Michael T. Grande Jr., the father of Andrew Grande, said he wants people to remember his son for things other than how he died. Watching the truTV footage of his son choking to death is almost too much to bear, he said.

“That’s a terrible thing to watch. It just kills me, but I had to see it,” Grande told The News Herald in a phone interview from New Jersey. “I’m just so crushed inside about it.”

I am seeing various blog comments that suggest he deserved to die because he smoked pot or tried to "resist arrest and swallow the baggie of pot". One person who made a comment after me on the MOC blog made an assumption that at the time of the arrest he was so high that he wasn't feeling any pain.

Thus far I have not read a toxicology report or heard any report that he was tweaked out of his mind.

Some of the comments onh the story I linked above are even worse.

After reviewing thevideo report again today it is clear that something is very wrong.

(Photo: Twitpic of Andrew Grande smoking marijuana, according to his own caption.)

As I stated in the comments at the MOC blog:

What makes this "horrific" is the fact that if you watch closely he was in distress when they were trying to cuff him. Clearly they were not paying attention to that. When he sat up he was clearly a suspect in distress- his body language suggests that.

Watch an episode of cops and you can see an aggressive, resisting arrest suspect. At that point I think he realized that the swallowing of the baggie of pot was not working out well.

Still obviously in distress he stood up and then he was tasered. There was no need to taser him- he did not appear to be threatening any of the officers.

While I obviously, like everyone else, couldn't hear the exchange between the officers and Andrew I suspect that- based on my experience working in medicine for a good part of my life- that when he was tasered the trauma of that made him either automatically yell out.

The baggie probably then lodged itself into the trachea, and plastic tends to adhere to things when wet- especially tracheal mucous and that ius when it became impossible to dislodge it.

Had he not been tasered they may have been able to get the baggie out of his throat. The delay, the tasering and the slow response of the ambulance- whether it took time to get there or it was called after the tasering is what killed him. Too many minutes passed and the brain can only be without O2 for so long.

What is bothering me, aside from the vile comments I have seen is the fact that if Andrew Grande had been, say, a clean cut 23-year-old son of a local doctor or other prominent citizen there would have been more public outcry.

In a CBS news blog story it says:

The woman who made the complaint, Crystal Amber Cronnon, disappeared after Grande was put in the ambulance but police had her driver’s license, according to The News Herald.

One of the tapes from the incident includes audio but no video of Cronnon telling the responding officers, Sgt. Billy Byrd, that Grande "pushed me down when I got out of my car," but continues "I’m not about getting anyone arrested."

The tape then cuts to a later shot of Byrd attempting to give Grande the Heimlich but he is unsuccessful. After the emergency medical technicians arrive and start to treat Grande, Byrd does an interview with the truTV crew. Byrd says he and the other deputies were trying to reach into Grande’s mouth to remove the object.

"We was(sic) trying to pull whatever he had in his mouth back out of his mouth," Byrd says. "Obviously, he was resisting and trying to prevent us from doing that, trying to steer away, and at that time he was tased."

Now I watched the video three times and I never saw a hand by his mouth. What I did see I described above.

But because he was a gay porn star and because he was open about smoking pot and not some clean cut twink guilt is assumed. No one has asked if he had pushed the female down because she may have been raging and slapping at him. No one is asking why three, supposedly trained law enforcement officers failed to be able to tell the difference between someone aggressively resisting arrest and a suspect in distress.

Had Andrew been some rich dudes kid that got busted with pot and made a knee-jerk decision to try and aswallow nit...and the video evidence was there...as it is in this case...that when Andrew sat up he was in a posture that suggested distress rather than agressiveness there would be an investigation into whether or not the use of the taser was jkustified and if that action actually made him swallow-= apparently into his trachea such a large portion of the baggie that it was impossible to dislodge it at that point.

Would they be asking why the police lied...obviously lied as you saw in that quote above...and why they didn't immediately get trained medical professionals there?

Why critical minutes passed before one officer got a first aid bag out of the car?

Instead, because of how he looked, the accusation by the female, the use and swallowing of marijuana it is nearly a closed case.

I again just wonder if it would be closed if he was a heterosexual 23-year-old in the community who just got busted with some pot. I THINK NOT- people would be outraged that the cops tasered a young man that was clearly in distress. But because he did gay porn and openly smoked pot I guess it is justified in the minds of sick ass people in this country.

Andrew Grande was a human being first and foremost and it sickens me to see how people in the news story comments and elsewhere can be so heartless and cruel just because they are judging him based on the surface and taking what the authorities have to say as gospel truth.

One person that obviously knew him well posted this tribute video on YouTube and I will leave you with that.

UPDATE: The original vid I had up is marked private now...but here is another beautiful vid is produced by Andrew's cousins

Song on piano for our cousin Andrew Grande by Kalai:

AGENTS AND PIMPS

I just had to come write this down...proof positive that Americans can be some of the dumbest people on earth!

So those of you that read the Borderboys blog know that I have started selecting a cam performer of the week on Fridays because the response was really good when I tried it the first time..

The last two guys have been from Columbia, both really nice and eager to be introduced to the directors at OTB Video.

The latter, Leanddro definitely has star quality.

So this week I went hunting for another American cam twink...not that there is anything wrong with twinks from another country...I just haven't featured an American since Alex Andrew.

I found a cute cam twink on Flirt4Free and chatted him up the last two days. Sent him an email with links to the Friday posts and all and since he seemed really nice and friendly I was going to plug him next Friday.

The quality of his cam is poor so I told him I would need some decent pictures for the post. All of a sudden he says I have to talk to the big guy- his agent. He gave me a name but I never heard oif the guy. I seriously doubtv he is a licensed agent like fab Scout Howard.

More than likely he is some old troll that has a few webcams and gets local boys to pimp out on them.

A real agent would have looked at the cam boy of the week posts I have done and jumped at the chance to give his client what amounts to free publicity- and no doubt a way to send more traffic to his client's cam.

The guy said he couldn't do anything because his agent or cam pimp said so.

So he will sit there making nothing with the shitty webcam in a sea of other cammers with high quality cams and no "agent" to dip into the profit and to make dumb ass decisions for them.

I can't stand these people who think they are agents.

I never thought of myself like that and I have even stated to a couple of guys that I can't be an 'agent". Even with Rad the most I ever said to him about his "career" was to use his own judgment and gut feelings when he was making deals.

That's it and that is how it should be unless one is a licensed agent. And even then I don't think they should do all the thinking, blogging and twittering for the client.

BACK TO THE CAM TWINK- I guess because the "big guy" didn't see any profit to sponge off the twink he told him to politely tell me to piss off. It is really sad how we are in this country sometimes- so self-absorbed and all.

It really comes to light when you talk to people from other countries.

Especially countries that haven't sucked off the teet for so long and has become a materialistic society of gimme this and that like we have become. They still know what gratitude is...the word thank you and all the things that seem to have been lost over the lasst twenty years.

This guy's "agent" just turned down free publicity...hopefully the dumb ass twink will wake up and dump the guy if he is a real agent because clearly he does not have a clue as to how to get a client promoted especially when the cost to him or vthe client is NOTHING!!

REALITY CHECK FOR IDIOTS

I know I said on an earlier post that it was my last words on Rad Matthews...well since that time new information has come to light and as I suspected some people have their cum stained little hands into the mix and have been responsible for spreading a bunch of BLATANT LIES and half-truths about me and my friendship with Rad Matthews...so obviously I need to set the record straight so certain people get their heads out of their over-blown egomanical asses.

Did you know that according to certain individuals I RUINED RAD MATTHEWS PORN CAREER!!

Yep, I did that single-handed and of course Rad didn't have free will or a mind of his own. He didn't chose to enroll in school- I went there and forced him to do it.

I am being sarcastic here.

I learned from the horse's mouth and another couple of reliable sources that a certain studio head has been told I was responsible for Rad Matthews eliminating everyone connected with the industry and ending his "porn career"

And by extension, this rumor is being spread to various models who are being told to stay away from me lest I ruin their career.

What these people fear is not the ruination of a career but the lack of control and hold on their special twink as you will understand more as you read on.

Let's start back in March 2009.

At that point and time the friendship between Rad and I was just that. A friendship- no underlying motivations, no old guy wants to fuck the young twink scenario...just a friendship that was built on mutual trust that was earned on both sides.

It had moved beyond porn blogger- porn performer and he took time to get to know me as a person and vice-versa. I became privy to details of his life that no one else really knew about. Things that you will never see printed here by me.

The reason we developed intimacy (and the definition of that is simply open, honest communication between two human beings that developes into a deep understanding with warmth and affection) is because I was no longer was friends with the big-dicked, and naked Rad Matthews.

I became friends with Stephen (he has revealed his real name on his MySpace so I AM NOT outing his real first name) and did for him probably something no one in his life did for a long time in his life- I listened.

And this is why I became like a long distance extension of his family of choice- and why he said he loved me on many occasions. He too became part of our extended family and we regarded him as such.

Not because of anything sexual although someone has also spread the myth that my interest in Rad was just to get to sleep with him.

Funny how people who actually do that shit to models like to point fingers at people that do not to keep the stench off of themselves.

I have met a boat load of performers in the past year and not one of them will say that I ever asked them out for a secret rendezvous so I could get into their pants...and I certainly never had that motivation with Rad.

I am going to digress for a moment because I have to make this clear...

Left and right, at the time, I heard nothing but nasty, snipey and downright horrible things about him out of the mouths of people he didn't bow down to. This included studio heads, fellow performers, bloggers and others that new him just as Rad Matthews.

To this day when I mention his name - it even happened the other night at Mankind- I hear nothing but negative comments about him..."loony, crazy, angry, a bitch, etc."

For the longest time I couldn't understand why people were so hard on him.

I mean when we spoke on the phone I found him to be a funny and intelligent young man who had a strong will to be accepted as he was and who was frustrated with drama in the industry and a slew of people that had used him and then pushed him away. So all the negativity and the judgments made against him didn't add up logically.

It finally dawned on me that the whole problem is that people never have really listened to him. Because he dared to open his mouth and speak out when he had to people that were made to look like fools started spreading negativity about him.

And one thing that made him so controversial was the fact that he was never one of these boys that could be controlled.

There was never I time when I told him what he should do, in connection with his "porn career". He made his own choices, did his own bookings and pay negotiations and I only offered support and advice when he asked for it.

But what you all have to understand is that for many of these studios that feature young "barely legal" teens they depend on the boys being submissive and controllable. The worst case scenario is a model that has a job or is going to school.

Why is that?

Because at that point the young man is no longer needy. They don't need the protection of the harem...or studio "brothel" as another friend calls it...to have a place to live.

I can name at least three studios that make sure the boys are boozed up or have access to drugs. I can tell you about the casting couching of these boys and the fact that many are cajoled into sleeping with thirty and forty something old men so they can be in good favor in the harem.

When they dare to go against the status quo, like Rad did so many times, they are either blacklisted, thrown out or worse...and if you want examples of it I will write another piece with facts to back up what I say.

Of course the people who enjoy manipulating these young men will adamantly deny this and claim sainthood but have a convo with Aaron Tyler or other people who are now daring to speak out about some of the abuse by certain studios and you will see that I am not just talking out of my ass.

With Rad the problem was that he was not dependent on anyone to have a place to live. He has his own mind and could make his own decisions and didn't feel like he had to take abuse, sleep with a director or their employees to get roles. If something was not right or crossed a boundary he spoke mout. He did that with me in the beginning and after we settled the misunderstandings it made the friendship even stronger because he knew he could speak truth to me and I would listen.

In other words he had a voice and he used it to self-protect and make sure he was not encircled in the drama that seems to fester around the harems and their dysfunctional dynamics.

This is why people disliked Rad Matthews- because he could not be controlled or intimidated.

And to make their shit smell better they point the finger at him and eventually it is ballooned into a wide spread mill of gossip and innuendos that were nothing more than character assassinations. Now these same people are doing that to me-especially since I defended him publicly a while back.

Now you stop and think about a friend you have, that you trust and are close to and think about how you feel when you know someone is talking shit about that friend or judging him unfairly.

Anyhow back to why he decided to minimize being a porn star and went to school....

In early April 2009 a female friend of his suggested he check out the school she was attending. At that time he again had a sour taste in his mouth as far as porn was concerned because he had another bad experience at a studio. He was tired of being broke and wanted to only do porn for the money- not a god damn career!

Those who keep saying I ruined his porn career need to read that again...he never, ever stated he wanted a porn career. His long term goal...at least the last time he talked about it to me is to be a doctor- not an aging former porn star hooked on cocaine.

The place where he lived is sort of in a remote area of town and since he had no vehicle, despite applying in a bunch of places, he was having a tough time getting an entry level job that he could feasibly get to.

So when his friend put the idea of school in his head he went for it and signed up.

He called me, of course, and told me all about it....AFTER THE FACT so I in no way conned him into signing up at school in to forsake porn stardom.

Probably one of the best phone calls I ever had with him was when he got the results back from his first big test and he got 100% on it. You people that want to consider him as a commodity and a piece of meat to use to make money should have heard the pride in his voice.

For the first time in his life, and I am assuming this but given what I know it isn't too far off the mark, he did something he could be proud of.

After that he became more motivated about school and stated on a number of occasions that it was his priority- not being porn "star" Rad Matthews.

In fact there were many occasions where he adamantly stated that he was through with porn...but because of lack of money he decided to do it anyway...at least while he was in school.
Did I convince him to ruin his porn career by quitting and attending school?

Obviously not- that was clearly his choice and his unilateral decision.

Did I offer support, encouragement, praise and positive feedback for a job well done when, time after time, he would call beaming and report that he got yet another "A" on a module?

DAMN RIGHT I DI BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT REAL FRIENDS DO.

I have yet to see one god damn person in this industry publicly state that they supported his goals as far as his future and education went. The only thing people seemed concerned with was they were losing their potential cash cow with the big Italian cock.

On top of being accused of ruining his porn career I am also a trouble maker.

Remember when he called in sick for a Boycrush shoot and Andy Kay posted a one-sided slam piece tearing Rad to shreds?

I had talked to Rad before that...I think the day before... and he was coughing up a lung. He was clearly sick with the flu and in fact everyone at his home had it.

He was in no condition to go to any kind of job- let alone do a porn scene.

Despite more misinformation that is floating around he called me first and alerted me to the post Andy put up. Again rumor has it that I told him about the post, posted what I did which forced him to write an equally nasty post on his blog. If it hadn't been for me "meddling" there would have been no drama.

That is not how it went and when he called me and alerted me he pleaded with me to write something to defend him. I went and read the post and I saw that no one was even attempting to give him any benefit of the doubt. Everyone from Damon Kruezer to people I recognized from my own blog were jumping on the bash Rad bandwagon again.

So I was put in the middle- I could either turn my back on a physically ill friend and say nothing and let him try to defend himself in the midst of people who had already tried and convicted him or stand up for what was right and true.

I chose the latter...and lo and behold the "trouble" I caused by writing my inflammatory piece (that has since been deleted because I said too many things out of turn and out of anger- I had reached my limit with people tearing apart my friend) amounted to A RECONCILIATION AND ADMISSION OF FAULT FROM BOTH INVOLVED. Not only did it make me respect Rad more it gave me new respect for the upright sort of person Andy Kay has turned out to be. So in the long run the "trouble" resulted in a positive outcome for everyone.

It is being labeled "trouble" because I dared to stand up for Rad and not allow people to have a fucking orgasmic field day dragging a flu-ridden young man's name through the mud.

(Below I am talking in general so don't insinuate I am targeting Andy Kay or Boycrush, please)

The people who enjoy power and control at various studios hate when their status quo or their superiority- or their false illusion of it is challenged. Funny how everyone but the people involved still bring it up- the people involved let it go a long time ago.

And that is exactly what I did. I ruined the continuation of the we hate Rad marathon that had been going on since we first talked on MySpace at the beginning of the year.

So if people want to say I caused trouble so be it.

If it is wrong to stand up for what is right, to defend someone that is being unfairly maligned and dragged through the mud while they have a high fever and the flu then I am guilty of that and this universe is fucked up.

The trouble caused was the exposure of the story- an the bruised egos and the people who were let down because Andy made up with the person they hate- Rad.

Lastly there is also the rumor that I clung to Rad.

LET ME MAKE THIS CLEAR-

WE WERE MUTUAL FRIENDS. THAT MEANS HE CLUNG ON TO ME AS MUCH AS I DID HIM.

Whenever he had some good news or something important on my mind he would talk to me. But to you fucking people that perpetuate that myths and lies you want people to believe so it hurts him or me you make it seem as if I constantly imposed myself on him.

That is not the truth at all.

He made it clear that he valued my support and friendship just as much as I valued his and time and time again people who refuse to look in a mirror and take a look at their own dirty selves have tried to either minimize the friendship or worse dirty it up.

So given what I have learned...from no less than three credible sources who KNOW what has been said between certain parties and to various models in their employ... I have come to the conclusion that someone twisted Rad's mind a bit as well.

That can be the only reason for him not telling me why he went away. He knows that even if he wanted to disconnect from me to stay focused on the school and now his job I would have understood and would have been here when he chose to come back.
As far as ruining his career- that is nonsense.

Clearly he made the choice to enter school.

He made the choice to look beyond a porn career and goal set.

I am not the one that suggested he go to more school to become what he wants to be- HE DID.

I just did what A REAL FRIEND...SOMEONE WITHOUT MOTIVATIONS LIKE THE PEOPLE WHO WANT TO SPREAD THIS BULLSHIT...would do.

I listened to his reality, I offered love and support and not one person can tell me they have never done that for a close friend, extended family member or whatever.

The idea that I will ruin a model's career or cling to him like Rad is absurd.

It took many months of talking to develop trust and intimacy with him.

What I may ruin, if I do have contact, is the control certain people have over certain models...and they might become free thinkers like Rad.

And anyone in this industry knows that a free-thinking model, with balls to stand up for himself, is the worst kind...because then the dirty old men that run these joints can't manipulate them and get into their pants. Again look at how Aaron Tyler- once the banner twink of Helix has been treated since he started speaking up.

So if you want to believe the bullshit go for it...you all know if it is YOU I am talking to. You are the one with the guilty conscience at the moment who will probably get defensive.

Those who really know Rad know that he made all his own choices- especially the choice to minimize his porn persona in pursuit of real life goals, education and future stability were his own and I was just there to offer support for one of the wisest decisions I have seen any twink make this past year.

If you want to talk shit about me or say I am a bad person for encouraging someone to make their life and world better seek counseling immediately because you are insane at best and delusional at worst.

COFFEE AND A DONATION

I will be the first to admit it- I am a coffee addict.

When my partner and I go out for coffee in Hillcrest we prefer Peets Coffee...more for atmosphere and the great tasting coffee over the Starbucks chain.

But I do go into Starbucks for the tasty Java Chip they serve- I just love those things with lots of whipped cream.

Anyhow the reason I am bringing up coffee today is because today is WORLD AIDS DAY...a curious choice for the day considering they look for donations and it is in between the post Thanksgiving, "black Friday" shopping frenzy and the December holidays...would have been better to select a month where there isn't much happening like March 1st...and thanks to a post by a blogger that I read on the Borderboys blog follow list I learned that Starbucks is doing something special today.

According to the post on the HOT FOOT BLOG:

"Starbucks will donate 5 Cents for every hand crafted coffee drink sold on World Aids Day, December 1, 2009 to AIDS foundations around the world. So stop by your local Starbucks and enjoy a great latte, or other hand crafted coffee, listen to some awesome music, or just talk to the hot Starbucks boys and help end HIV-AIDS. Its the right thing to do!"

I couldn't agree more so if you are out and about and thinking of having some java...assuming there is a Starbucks near you...get your coffee there today. Every little helps in the fight to eradicate the disease the Reagan crime family unleashed on homosexuals in the early 1980's.

Almost Vice-Turkey

AND SHE WAS ALMOST VICE-PRESIDENT...





...I AM SURE THE TURKEY THIS YEAR WAS MUCH MORE SATISFIED WITH OBAMA'S PARDON THIS YEAR...


have a happy holiday...

if you are not a turkey

My Last Words On Rad Matthews

Yeah that is who you think it is.

I took that back in February...or maybe March when he flew over here.

I got an e-mail tonight from one of the Borderboys readers that posed a question that I just had to sit and think about.

He asked, "Why do you keep defending and apologizing for Rad Matthews when he has threw you away like trash, just like he did to the rest of us that supported him and his work?"

Yesterday I sent yet another add friend request with a personal message from my private MySpace. I suppose he read it but of course I am not on his list...again with no explaination why.

Between the question in the e-mail and that I have had it.

I have to say what I feel and since this is my personal blog I can say whaty I damn well please.

I know from our conversations that he really didn't want to be Rad Matthews anymore- just Stephen (his real first name is not a secret since he now refers to himself by his real name on his MySpace). I had made it abundantly clear to him that I was friends with Stephen not the naked Rad Matthews and he knew that.

This was just not an acquaintance type friendship- like I have with guys like Chase Harding.

This was someone who texted ILu2 (i LOVE YOU TOO) and led me to believe that despite the age difference- which he always said he didn't care about- that he really cared. I cared as if he were a family member and he led me to believe the same.

I went through the fear and the drama he had when he was not certain he would get off probation. I worried myself sick when he was getting the biopsy and had the cancer scare and all the while I was there to support him.

And that was not easy for me.

While I worried with him before the results came I had to relive what I went through when I learned my own son was diagnosed with the same variety of cancer Rad was fearing he had. My boy died in 2002 and even through I was reliving some of the pain from that time I kept my word and was there for Rad Matthews.

When someone would talk shit about him I would defend him and spent countless hours and dollars listening to him as he went through some scary times and when I jeard the joy in his voice when he got the results of his first module at school and he was at the top of the class.

I also spent a lot of time on the phone listening to him lament about certain people dropping him like a hot potato and not giving him any rhyme or reason for why they suddenly decided to be cruel to him.

Yet he has turned around and did the same thing to me as he whined about others doing to him.

When Andy Kay wrote his diatribe about Rad missing a shoot he was on the phone with me asking for defense and if you read the Borderboys blog you know I defended him to the death because people were believing Andy at face value without Rad being able to defend ghimself.

I put my time, energy and reputation on the line to defend him and prove that I was not just some silly old lustful man but a real friend...the same kind of friend I thought he was

Now I don't expect a medal or anything for what I have done but I did expect to be treated not like some run of the mill Rad fan whose only interest in him is his buig fat cock. I expected an adult...the same adult that proved to me that when he was being Stephen he was not like people said he was.

I expected at least some sort of communiccatuion. Some sort of explaination.

At the start of his disappearance, before I realized he deleted me and his fans from his MySpace and got rid of his blog I called rwice and was hung up on. I sent emails asking for an explaination and offered to give him all the space he needed but I simply wanted to know why he threw the love, the friendship and ttne intimacy back in my face.

Yes intimacy- which means open, honest communication- he heard more about me and my partner than anyone I talk to and I know more about him, his family, his family life, why he was on probation and a host of other things no one in thegeneral public knows about.

That is how intimacy developes and it did with us...and there is nothing sexual about that.

I think given the commitment I had to him in this "friendship" and the way I made him a priority...blindly trusting his word sometimes, I fear, at the expense of the truth of others I deserve to have at least recieved a response that said something like "I don't want to deal with porn or be Rad anymore and just want to finish school and do the rest of what my goals are so I am taking a break from everyone and when I get stuff sorted our I will contact yiu."

Had I been given that sort of response rather than the silence and the complete middle finger brush off than this post wouldn't be needed.

But I am human...believe it or not I am.

I am not a god damn bot that auto writes blogs.

I have feelings and at this point I have a mixture of them as far as he is concerned.

There is sadness because I feel used and abandoned.

I feel angry because he did the very thing Jesse Starr warned me he would do back in February that I refused to believe.

I feel frustrated because there was, and still is, no explaination for why he would eliminate from his life someone who, for all intents and purposes, was one of the few people that really gave a damn about him and not just his cock and the porn shit.

Will I start disclosing what we talked about; why he was on probation and all the other juicy things people are dying to hear?-

NO

THAT WILL SERVE NO PIRPOSE AND NO MATTER WHAT HE HAS DONE TO ME I AM NOT GOING TO TALK ABOUT STUFF THAT IS NO ONE'S BUSINESS BUT HIS.

Will I still talk about him on the Borderboys blog?

YES

The pont of that blog is to critique and present the work of the various studios I cover- not a place to share personal feelings so if he is in a scene that I cover and it is good I will write about it and I hope you all will stop emailing me, with nasty remarks about him, every time I do.

As far as I am concerned the issue of Rad Matthews is closed- here and on my other blog.

I am totally over the whole thing and it will be a long time before I trust anyone who tells me they care about and love me- the reality is most people NEED me and when they are done needing me they go away.

I have had enough of that and expect to be treated the way I treat other people.

That goes for him and everyone else.

I am sick of people pretending to be nice and then when push comes to shove they don't follow through.I wrote about what my partner and I are going through, on th other blog, and how- given the amount of time and work I put into Borderboys for the thousands of readers a week to cough up some cash in the donations to help us buy something silly like... fucking food.

I even asked that just ten people out of thousands- and this includes the so-called friends that read the blog or who I write about- to just donate $10 and that would make $100.

Only one person bothered, who prefers to remain anonymous...the rest just turned a blind eye because I guess with people these days it is my job to give and give while people take fron me until there is nothing left...or they just go away like Rad did.

I just deserve better and I am sorry but this is how I feel.

And yes despite it all there is an empty part of my life and I do miss him- crazy ass me- right?

SPOOKY SATURDAY- HERMAN ROCKS!

I ADMIT IT...I LOVED...




CAMPY I KNOW BUT IT STILL IS ONE OF THOSE SHOWS THAT YOU CAN WATCH AGAIN AND AGAIN!

My partner likes THE ADAMS FAMILY so here is one for me and one for him and you all tonight.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

The Munsters-Grandpa Leaves Home





Watch S01 E02 Morticia And The Phychiatist in Entertainment | View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com

A BUTCH HALLOWEEN!

If you have neighbors that may be worried that their little Johnny ism't quite butch enough and that he may turn out to be gay or at least prefer Barbie Dol,s over GI Joe's there is help for them!

One worry for these parents of fem boys is the choice of Halloween costumes.

Try as they might the child always wants the least masculine costume at the store.

Of course we know not wearing totally masculine costumes will turn any boy gay.

So parents beware and watch this news report before you take Johnny to the store!

How To Find A Masculine Halloween Costume For Your Effeminate Son

HAVE A HAPPY HALLOWEEN TOMORROW!

MARY JANE FOR PAIN

I have always been an advocate of legalizing marijuana- especially for cancer patients. I just don't get why Mary Jane is illegal while tobacco- that is 100 times more addictive is legal...

Oh I know...the government hasn't figured out how to package, sell and TAX IT yet!

Well at least there is some good news for medical marijuana users.

From the NY Times:

People who use marijuana for medical purposes and those who distribute it to them should not face federal prosecution, provided they act according to state law, the Justice Department said Monday in a directive with far-reaching political and legal implications.



In a memorandum to federal prosecutors in the 14 states that make some allowance for the use of medical marijuana, the department said that it was committed to the “efficient and rational use” of its resources and that prosecuting patients and distributors who are in “clear and unambiguous compliance” with state laws did not meet that standard.



The new stance was hardly an enthusiastic embrace of medical marijuana, or the laws that allow it in some states, but signaled clearly that the Obama administration thought there were more important priorities for prosecutors.



“It will not be a priority to use federal resources to prosecute patients with serious illnesses or their caregivers who are complying with state laws on medical marijuana,” Attorney General Eric H. Holder Jr. said in a statement accompanying the memo, “but we will not tolerate drug traffickers who hide behind claims of compliance with state law to mask activities that are clearly illegal.”



Emphasizing that it would continue to pursue those who use the concept of medical marijuana as a ruse, the department said, “Marijuana distribution in the United States remains the single largest source of revenue for the Mexican cartels,” and pursuing the makers and sellers of illegal drugs, including marijuana, will remain a “core priority.”



Click here to read the rest of the article.

GOD HATES HATERS

I did it...I confronted Shirley Phelps-Roper... luckily I was able to capture some video and put her on the spot before the angry woman cop decided I didn't have the right to confront verbally a woman who would just assume see me dead.

The mainstream media's coverage of this was abysmal and as usual they ignored the real stories and camped around the demon spawn!

Since I am sending the piece I wrote and the video to non-adult oriented sires and people...including people from the religious community that were there protesting against Phelps-Roper, I created a new blog called GOD HATES HATERS.

To read the article, and to especially watch the video that I want you all to see and hear, just click here...and feel free to re-twit or post the URL TO THE NEW SITE if you like what I wrote and the video presentation.

Am I done with her yet?

Nope.

I have one more question for her which should totally make her look like the vermin she is!

I will keep you posted!

WHY WE NEED TO FIGHT BACK

The following story is a perfect example of how the teachings of freaks like the Phelps family and other so-called "churches" of hate teach children to become adults that justify beating the shit out of a person because they are gay.



The story claims that the gay person was blowing the straight guy a kiss. They usually come up with bullshit like that to justify their actions. And even if that was the case does someone deserve to get beaten for that?

The Phelps family would say- hell yes, and in God's name as well!

Click the link below and to read the story and be sure to look at the tattoo from the Bible's Leviticus book on this thugs arm.

Hate Crime Suspect's Bud: Blame the Victim

And you can click here for a video report:

The sad bit is things like this happen every day and most cases of gay bashings are never reported!

I will be here today:

San Diego High 1405 Park Blvd, SD, CA 92101 from 2:00 PM - 3:00 PM.

HOW WE ENABLE THE BULLIES

Back when am1360 KLSD existed I had an exchange, on the air, with the freakish Shirley Lynn Phelps-Roper (born October 31, 1957) is the eldest daughter of Fred Phelps, minister of the Westboro Baptist Church.

After questioning her about her stance on gays I turned to the anti-semitism...not only do they hate "fags' but Jews as well. When I pointed out that the majority of what they base their insanity in comes straight out of the Old Testament and the Jewish purity laws in Leviticus and that it seemed to be a contradiction her forked tongue got all tangled.

I wish I had an MP3 of that segment...it was priceless.

I am not sure if she will be here over the weekend but the rest of the sick bastards will be and the majority of places they have targeted are Jewish temples so this isn't just a gay issue.

Later today I contacting the mayor's office to find out if he is going to condemn their visit here and what plans are in place to deal with these domestic terrorists. I may even contact homeland security and ask them why they do not treat these people like Britain's Home Secretary did back in February 2009.

According to this Times Online article:

The Home Secretary has banned two extremist anti-gay preachers from entering Britain, a move that follows a decision to refuse entry to Geert Wilders, the Dutch anti-Muslim MP.

Fred Phelps and his daughter Shirley Phelps-Roper, who belong to the US Westboro Baptist Church, were planning to come to the UK to protest outside a performance of a youth play called The Laramie Project, which recounts the death of gay university student Matthew Shepard who was killed in Laramie, Wyoming, in October 1998.

It was due to be performed at Queen Mary's College in Basingstoke, Hampshire, tomorrow.

The pair have been known to picket US soldiers’ funerals, holding up banners with phrases such as "God Hates Fags" because they believe that their deaths in Iraq and Afghanistan are punishment for America’s tolerance of gays.

Confirming their ban, a UK Border Agency spokesman said: "The Home Secretary has excluded both Fred Phelps and his daughter Shirley Phelps-Roper from the UK.

"Both these individuals have engaged in unacceptable behaviour by inciting hatred against a number of communities.

"The Government has made it clear it opposes extremism in all its forms.

"We will continue to stop those who want to spread extremism, hatred and violent messages in our communities from coming to our country.

Question is why they are still allowed to roam around the US targeting gays and Jews?

Some will argue that it is a first amendment right to go out and preach and teach hate in a god's name.

The first amendment says: "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances."

No where in there does it say one can go out and encourage hate and violence towards other citizens.

It allows them to practice their twisted religion in their church but when it is an organization, who's main focus is verbally terrorizing gays, Jews and even the funerals of dead US troops, the fine line is crossed in my opinion.

Yet they are tolerated and they will be protected by the police all weekend.

No doubt a barricade of cops will be around the homophobes....just like at gay pride.

Ironic that the police are protecting the perpetrators rather than the victims of the hate.

And that occurs because gay communities and gay folk allow it to be that way. Other groups- especially races would not peacefully counter protest people that have a sole ainm of hurting them.

For example if I got a church together, used a "god" and 2000 plus year old purity laws and texts to justify my insanity and was given tax exempt status with my main focus was to run around African-American events and neighborhoods with "God Hates Niggers" or "God Wants the Coons Lynched" signs I can almost guarantee that my hate-based organization masked as a "church" would lose its tax exempt status and I would be silenced immediately.

And rightfully so...the same Bible was used to justify the inhuman treatment and enslavement of black Americans for well over two centuries until the murder of Emmett Till- a young Chicago black teen visiting in the deep south was brutally murdered for whistling at a white woman...see the last video for more on his murder.

This murder triggered the civil rights movement and brought forth voices with courage like Dr. Martin Lither King.

Black folk would not stand for that these days and would just sing "give peace a chance" to haters and bigots. And neither would I...I still get upset when I hear black kids and non-black people calling each other "nigger".

There would be mass counter protests and unlike what is planned this weekend, the black folk would not be singing songs to these freaks...they would run them out of town with whatever means necessary...even if it meant some of them may be arrested themselves....like in this picture from the 1974 Boston busing riots.

Imagine if blacks from the 1960's saved face and just sang to the people who used the Bible to hate them without fighting back. Would we still have separate drinking fountains and would they still have to sit in the back of the bus?

More than likely if black folk had done what "gay communities" around America have done in response to the hate-based religious zealots..who if they could get away with it would have a lynching of some queers in their god's name.
If you bothered to listen to my radio program from last October on this post where I talked about the ten year anniversary of the crucifixion of Matthew Shepard, the murder of 15-year-old Lawrence Kind and my own experience...being a victim of a hate crime victim in 2000 you will understand why that is so.

When there is a high profile murder we al get on the bandwagon. After a while we erase it from memory. Or worse yet we think that having peaceful protests somehow makes us look better. it doesn't- it makes us look like the whimpering little fagots while allowing people like the Phelps family who also protested at Matthew's funeral to continue to carry on.

The Phelps family, and all the other religious nutbags that parrot their homophobia in God's name, are the very people that justified, in the minds of Matthew's killers, what they did to him.

This is why there still is no laws, either in states or on the federal level that bans organizations that are solely in existence to instill fear and hate, and perhaps justify violence towards other citizens in a god's name, to pose as a church and receive first amendment protection.

I am, by nature an anti-war, anti-violence person but there comes a time when peaceful demonstrations become ineffective and almost a joke.

Whether it is protests against the Phelps clan, Prop 8 or the invasion of Iraq the people who organize the counter protests insist on "peaceful" counter protests.

It seems to me that they are more worried about saving face and looking good in the press rather than doing the right thing.

We lost the battle last November when the organizers of local marches against Prop 8 also insisted on "peaceful" and submissive marches.

Instead of gays being god damn angry- our civil rights and the right to purchase a state issued license was being taken away we were told to not get angry and keep it peaceful. Sorry but when my civil rights are being taken away by a bunch of religious cult members and fanatics I tend to get pissed off not peaceful.

The point is peace is a wonderful concept but when you are dealing with a bully or an abuser it simply doesn't work. For some reason the gay community...in the face of scum like the Phelps freaks have become synonymous with battered wives.

Despite the fact that the husband beats them, they try to make pace at home...for the kid's sake or whatever until they have enough of the abuse or until the worst case scenario occurs.

Here is another story from my childhood...

When I was a teenager I was outed at age 12.

As the years progressed the gay bashing- some physical but most mental and verbal escalated. Like the good fag I just silently took the abuse and held the anger inside.

I swallowed the injustice- the insanity of people hating me because of something that I had no control over. Yes I could have denied what I knew was my reality and hid in a closet playing it straight but being outed it was too late for that.

It got to the point where I was so traumatized and terrified by the bullies and the bigots that I wouldn't even ride the bus to school.

Finally in 11th grade I snapped.

I had enough of being harassed and one guy named Vincent- who secretly had "fooled around with me for months but called me faggot with his friends around- finally helped me find my voice and my balls. I finally had enough of the abuse and didn't peacefully cower anymore.

Right outside the science rooms I beat the hell out of him.

I stood up to the bully.
In this case a less than peaceful reaction was needed. The pacifist routine only empowered the bullies but when I made it clear that I had enough and this "queer" could whip your ass it all but stopped. Suddenly other boys and girls that were gay, came out to me. Sensible hetero students that were not taught to fear or hate gays also became friends and allies.

The moral of the story?

There is a time and place for peaceful protests and a time ti be justifiably angry.

We should have been angry when our civil tights were taken away here in California...wewere nit. We laid down in a flower bed and got fucked without the grease.

We shopuld be angry- both gays and Jews when the Phelps family comes to protest and terrotrize high school kids or temples of worship...instead the plan is to sing songs peavfully.

We should be angry with the state, locak and federal lawmakers who eleven years after Matthew's death have failed to clearly identify fake churches like the Westboro Baptist Church as domestic socual terroriusts and write laws that treat thenm the same way we treat the fundementaklist Islamics who also base their hate-filled ideologu on a twisted version of their dietyu.

We should be angry at ourselves and shamed for being cowards and not being brave like the people who fought in the 60's fir the humane treatment of people with black skin.

Because right now...as you are reading this...somewhere in America a gay teen is being called fagot, beaten up, thrown out iof the house, or considering suicide because people around him, that were taught that God hates Fags, are justifying the abuse and no one gives a damn enough to help or least of all fight back in their name because we are too busty singing and ignoring it until oty happens to us personally.

People like the Phelps and the others in this country that gave been brainwashed are directly responsible fir the deaths of gay, bi, transgendered and lesbian teens who take their own lives rather than suffer the abuse.

That should make you angry and singing a different tune if you attend the protest here in San Diego tomorrow and over the weekend!

I will be at the San Diego High School protest at 2pm tomorrow.

Here is a video segment with the freak Shirley Lynn Phelps-Roper



Video on the murder if Emmett Till: