Did you know that according to certain individuals I RUINED RAD MATTHEWS PORN CAREER!!Yep, I did that single-handed and of course Rad didn't have free will or a mind of his own. He didn't chose to enroll in school- I went there and forced him to do it.
I am being sarcastic here.
I learned from the horse's mouth and another couple of reliable sources that a certain studio head has been told I was responsible for Rad Matthews eliminating everyone connected with the industry and ending his "porn career"
And by extension, this rumor is being spread to various models who are being told to stay away from me lest I ruin their career.
What these people fear is not the ruination of a career but the lack of control and hold on their special twink as you will understand more as you read on.
Let's start back in March 2009.
At that point and time the friendship between Rad and I was just that. A friendship- no underlying motivations, no old guy wants to fuck the young twink scenario...just a friendship that was built on mutual trust that was earned on both sides.
It had moved beyond porn blogger- porn performer and he took time to get to know me as a person and vice-versa. I became privy to details of his life that no one else really knew about. Things that you will never see printed here by me.
The reason we developed intimacy (and the definition of that is simply open, honest communication between two human beings that developes into a deep understanding with warmth and affection) is because I was no longer was friends with the big-dicked, and naked Rad Matthews.
I became friends with Stephen (he has revealed his real name on his MySpace so I AM NOT outing his real first name) and did for him probably something no one in his life did for a long time in his life- I listened.
And this is why I became like a long distance extension of his family of choice- and why he said he loved me on many occasions. He too became part of our extended family and we regarded him as such.Not because of anything sexual although someone has also spread the myth that my interest in Rad was just to get to sleep with him.
Funny how people who actually do that shit to models like to point fingers at people that do not to keep the stench off of themselves.
I have met a boat load of performers in the past year and not one of them will say that I ever asked them out for a secret rendezvous so I could get into their pants...and I certainly never had that motivation with Rad.
I am going to digress for a moment because I have to make this clear...
Left and right, at the time, I heard nothing but nasty, snipey and downright horrible things about him out of the mouths of people he didn't bow down to. This included studio heads, fellow performers, bloggers and others that new him just as Rad Matthews.
To this day when I mention his name - it even happened the other night at Mankind- I hear nothing but negative comments about him..."loony, crazy, angry, a bitch, etc."
For the longest time I couldn't understand why people were so hard on him.
I mean when we spoke on the phone I found him to be a funny and intelligent young man who had a strong will to be accepted as he was and who was frustrated with drama in the industry and a slew of people that had used him and then pushed him away. So all the negativity and the judgments made against him didn't add up logically.
It finally dawned on me that the whole problem is that people never have really listened to him. Because he dared to open his mouth and speak out when he had to people that were made to look like fools started spreading negativity about him.
And one thing that made him so controversial was the fact that he was never one of these boys that could be controlled.
There was never I time when I told him what he should do, in connection with his "porn career". He made his own choices, did his own bookings and pay negotiations and I only offered support and advice when he asked for it.
But what you all have to understand is that for many of these studios that feature young "barely legal" teens they depend on the boys being submissive and controllable. The worst case scenario is a model that has a job or is going to school.Why is that?
Because at that point the young man is no longer needy. They don't need the protection of the harem...or studio "brothel" as another friend calls it...to have a place to live.
I can name at least three studios that make sure the boys are boozed up or have access to drugs. I can tell you about the casting couching of these boys and the fact that many are cajoled into sleeping with thirty and forty something old men so they can be in good favor in the harem.
When they dare to go against the status quo, like Rad did so many times, they are either blacklisted, thrown out or worse...and if you want examples of it I will write another piece with facts to back up what I say.
Of course the people who enjoy manipulating these young men will adamantly deny this and claim sainthood but have a convo with Aaron Tyler or other people who are now daring to speak out about some of the abuse by certain studios and you will see that I am not just talking out of my ass.
With Rad the problem was that he was not dependent on anyone to have a place to live. He has his own mind and could make his own decisions and didn't feel like he had to take abuse, sleep with a director or their employees to get roles. If something was not right or crossed a boundary he spoke mout. He did that with me in the beginning and after we settled the misunderstandings it made the friendship even stronger because he knew he could speak truth to me and I would listen.
In other words he had a voice and he used it to self-protect and make sure he was not encircled in the drama that seems to fester around the harems and their dysfunctional dynamics.
This is why people disliked Rad Matthews- because he could not be controlled or intimidated.
And to make their shit smell better they point the finger at him and eventually it is ballooned into a wide spread mill of gossip and innuendos that were nothing more than character assassinations. Now these same people are doing that to me-especially since I defended him publicly a while back.
Now you stop and think about a friend you have, that you trust and are close to and think about how you feel when you know someone is talking shit about that friend or judging him unfairly.
Anyhow back to why he decided to minimize being a porn star and went to school....
In early April 2009 a female friend of his suggested he check out the school she was attending. At that time he again had a sour taste in his mouth as far as porn was concerned because he had another bad experience at a studio. He was tired of being broke and wanted to only do porn for the money- not a god damn career!
Those who keep saying I ruined his porn career need to read that again...he never, ever stated he wanted a porn career. His long term goal...at least the last time he talked about it to me is to be a doctor- not an aging former porn star hooked on cocaine.
The place where he lived is sort of in a remote area of town and since he had no vehicle, despite applying in a bunch of places, he was having a tough time getting an entry level job that he could feasibly get to.
So when his friend put the idea of school in his head he went for it and signed up.
He called me, of course, and told me all about it....AFTER THE FACT so I in no way conned him into signing up at school in to forsake porn stardom.
Probably one of the best phone calls I ever had with him was when he got the results back from his first big test and he got 100% on it. You people that want to consider him as a commodity and a piece of meat to use to make money should have heard the pride in his voice.
For the first time in his life, and I am assuming this but given what I know it isn't too far off the mark, he did something he could be proud of.
After that he became more motivated about school and stated on a number of occasions that it was his priority- not being porn "star" Rad Matthews.
In fact there were many occasions where he adamantly stated that he was through with porn...but because of lack of money he decided to do it anyway...at least while he was in school.
Did I convince him to ruin his porn career by quitting and attending school?
Obviously not- that was clearly his choice and his unilateral decision.
Did I offer support, encouragement, praise and positive feedback for a job well done when, time after time, he would call beaming and report that he got yet another "A" on a module?
DAMN RIGHT I DI BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT REAL FRIENDS DO.
I have yet to see one god damn person in this industry publicly state that they supported his goals as far as his future and education went. The only thing people seemed concerned with was they were losing their potential cash cow with the big Italian cock.
On top of being accused of ruining his porn career I am also a trouble maker.
Remember when he called in sick for a Boycrush shoot and Andy Kay posted a one-sided slam piece tearing Rad to shreds?
I had talked to Rad before that...I think the day before... and he was coughing up a lung. He was clearly sick with the flu and in fact everyone at his home had it.
He was in no condition to go to any kind of job- let alone do a porn scene.
Despite more misinformation that is floating around he called me first and alerted me to the post Andy put up. Again rumor has it that I told him about the post, posted what I did which forced him to write an equally nasty post on his blog. If it hadn't been for me "meddling" there would have been no drama.
That is not how it went and when he called me and alerted me he pleaded with me to write something to defend him. I went and read the post and I saw that no one was even attempting to give him any benefit of the doubt. Everyone from Damon Kruezer to people I recognized from my own blog were jumping on the bash Rad bandwagon again.
So I was put in the middle- I could either turn my back on a physically ill friend and say nothing and let him try to defend himself in the midst of people who had already tried and convicted him or stand up for what was right and true.
I chose the latter...and lo and behold the "trouble" I caused by writing my inflammatory piece (that has since been deleted because I said too many things out of turn and out of anger- I had reached my limit with people tearing apart my friend) amounted to A RECONCILIATION AND ADMISSION OF FAULT FROM BOTH INVOLVED. Not only did it make me respect Rad more it gave me new respect for the upright sort of person Andy Kay has turned out to be. So in the long run the "trouble" resulted in a positive outcome for everyone.
It is being labeled "trouble" because I dared to stand up for Rad and not allow people to have a fucking orgasmic field day dragging a flu-ridden young man's name through the mud.
(Below I am talking in general so don't insinuate I am targeting Andy Kay or Boycrush, please)
The people who enjoy power and control at various studios hate when their status quo or their superiority- or their false illusion of it is challenged. Funny how everyone but the people involved still bring it up- the people involved let it go a long time ago.
And that is exactly what I did. I ruined the continuation of the we hate Rad marathon that had been going on since we first talked on MySpace at the beginning of the year.
So if people want to say I caused trouble so be it.
If it is wrong to stand up for what is right, to defend someone that is being unfairly maligned and dragged through the mud while they have a high fever and the flu then I am guilty of that and this universe is fucked up.
The trouble caused was the exposure of the story- an the bruised egos and the people who were let down because Andy made up with the person they hate- Rad.
Lastly there is also the rumor that I clung to Rad.
LET ME MAKE THIS CLEAR-
WE WERE MUTUAL FRIENDS. THAT MEANS HE CLUNG ON TO ME AS MUCH AS I DID HIM.
Whenever he had some good news or something important on my mind he would talk to me. But to you fucking people that perpetuate that myths and lies you want people to believe so it hurts him or me you make it seem as if I constantly imposed myself on him.
That is not the truth at all.
He made it clear that he valued my support and friendship just as much as I valued his and time and time again people who refuse to look in a mirror and take a look at their own dirty selves have tried to either minimize the friendship or worse dirty it up.
So given what I have learned...from no less than three credible sources who KNOW what has been said between certain parties and to various models in their employ... I have come to the conclusion that someone twisted Rad's mind a bit as well.
That can be the only reason for him not telling me why he went away. He knows that even if he wanted to disconnect from me to stay focused on the school and now his job I would have understood and would have been here when he chose to come back.
As far as ruining his career- that is nonsense.
Clearly he made the choice to enter school.
He made the choice to look beyond a porn career and goal set.
I am not the one that suggested he go to more school to become what he wants to be- HE DID.
I just did what A REAL FRIEND...SOMEONE WITHOUT MOTIVATIONS LIKE THE PEOPLE WHO WANT TO SPREAD THIS BULLSHIT...would do.
I listened to his reality, I offered love and support and not one person can tell me they have never done that for a close friend, extended family member or whatever.
The idea that I will ruin a model's career or cling to him like Rad is absurd.
It took many months of talking to develop trust and intimacy with him.
What I may ruin, if I do have contact, is the control certain people have over certain models...and they might become free thinkers like Rad.
And anyone in this industry knows that a free-thinking model, with balls to stand up for himself, is the worst kind...because then the dirty old men that run these joints can't manipulate them and get into their pants. Again look at how Aaron Tyler- once the banner twink of Helix has been treated since he started speaking up.
So if you want to believe the bullshit go for it...you all know if it is YOU I am talking to. You are the one with the guilty conscience at the moment who will probably get defensive.
Those who really know Rad know that he made all his own choices- especially the choice to minimize his porn persona in pursuit of real life goals, education and future stability were his own and I was just there to offer support for one of the wisest decisions I have seen any twink make this past year.
If you want to talk shit about me or say I am a bad person for encouraging someone to make their life and world better seek counseling immediately because you are insane at best and delusional at worst.
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